Eastbound Inbox

[sergeant_slick]

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[sergeant_slick]

No, nothing's changed in the past few minutes. You still don't care about doing the right thing, I still have no reason to talk to you. [He's got even less reason to talk now, really.]

[chosenfordarkness]

The reason I didn't remember who you were at first was because it's been almost two years since that happened. Things are really fucked up right now.

I'm not interested in being your keeper and there's not a whole lot we could even do about the rest of the troopers while being stuck here.

[sergeant_slick]

[Oh, this bullshit again.]

Sure. I've been here for three months, twenty-seven days. Or do you think we don't know how to count?

[chosenfordarkness]

I talked to your friend Fox. He told me time and space don't work the same way here. I assumed you'd have the same information.

[sergeant_slick]

I've heard it. I've just seen no reason to believe it yet. [So what if people can't agree on how things work? It's a big galaxy, and everybody only knows a piece of it.]

But go on, tell me the future you think is going to happen.

[chosenfordarkness]

A long list of victories and setbacks in equal measure.

[sergeant_slick]

Grown a spine yet? Come on. It's your future. You get to make up whatever shit you think I'll believe.

[chosenfordarkness]

All set, thanks. I've not decided what I'm going to do, yet. I couldn't even begin to make it up, I wouldn't know where to start.

[sergeant_slick]

So in your imaginary future you've spent two years sending clones to their deaths, and you're still doing it.

Being a slavemaster's a really comfortable job, then.

[chosenfordarkness]

Sure, I just imagined it all.

[sergeant_slick]

You've got a shit imagination.

I don't know what's worse--the Jedi keeping us enslaved on purpose, or being too clueless to notice. You're basically insisting it's the latter, but the fact that you haven't even apologized for it makes it hard to believe.

[chosenfordarkness]

I can be sorry all you want, and I am. It's shit, but I can't do anything about it in this place. Let alone with no support.

[sergeant_slick]

Yeah? Well, fucking show it.

You know what the truth is here. I shouldn't have to be the one to say it again.

[chosenfordarkness]

I reached out didn't I? I'm not ordering you around. I'm not making a big deal about you attacking me because it doesn't matter. I'm fucking trying, here.

I don't know what else you want from me?

[sergeant_slick]

Acknowledge that it's wrong.

Acknowledge the Republic is wrong for ever making us as half-life slaves.

That you're not blameless. You've benefited from having us there to die for you.

That'd be a start.

[chosenfordarkness]

A lot of what they're doing is wrong. The war has gone on for too long, even though the end is in sight.

The Jedi aren't blameless and have just as many secrets as the Republic.


What would have happened to all of you if the Republic had denied use of a clone army?

[ Another message immediately follows. ] I'm not trying to be sarcastic.

[sergeant_slick]

That's still not saying it. How fucking hard is it to admit the truth?

[It's good the next message comes in, because otherwise he might've thrown up his hands and left the conversation.]

We were made for the Republic. The longnecks would've probably tried to sell us to somebody else, but I don't think the brainwashing could've kept everyone so accepting of it.

[Which assumes the Republic, moral core of the known universe, still wouldn't have given a shit about clones being enslaved. Which sounded depressingly accurate. But at least it might've made his brothers mad about it.]

[chosenfordarkness]

When everything you know is brought into question? It's hard. There's a lot to process.

How..often did this brainwashing occur?

[sergeant_slick]

Every day, for as long as I can remember. Do you want me to quote the propaganda we memorized? Because it's still in my head. Everybody recites it. "Every clone will have his moment." "Our mission's only over once we're dead." "With the Jedi in command, the Force is on our side." "Good soldiers follow orders." [All the ones about Jedi are why he still has trouble believing Skywalker doesn't know. They were supposed to know everything. Even though he knows that's not true and he's known it for months, he still doesn't entirely believe it.]

Geonosis broke it for me. But that doesn't mean I was happy before then. Everybody's shit scared of failing to be a good little soldier, because if you test poorly the best you can hope for is working maintenance with the other defects. We swore an oath to defend the Republic with our lives, but we never, ever had a fucking choice. Say it, or you're gone.

[chosenfordarkness]

I didn't know it was like that for all of you. I'm sorry.

I don't think many Jedi gave it much thought.

[ If he had known, or gave it much thought, he would have-- No, he doesn't know that. He likes to think that he'd have done something. It would be the right thing to do. Lately, that seems to be the hardest thing for him to do.. but this is.. It makes him feel nauseous. Just knowing. ]

[sergeant_slick]

[He's finally gotten an apology, but it still doesn't feel like enough. It couldn't possibly be enough. Words don't equal what happened to him. To all of them.]

That was obvious as soon as we touched down.

We're all fresh out of the sims and trying to make sense of a real battlefield, all our training saying we go in after the armor, and our new generals make us run across an open plain first, so they can get stuck in. Tanks and artillery couldn't hit the front line anymore, because they'd hit us. So we don't get proper support, and more of us get cut down. It was the stupidest thing to do, and I charged my squad right into it, because I believed.

And after the whole fucking disaster, as we're sitting around waiting to find out if one of our wounded's going to survive having his face blown open, everybody's still saying "it's a good thing the Jedi were there, think how much worse it would've been!"

And they meant it. All of you had just proven how unfit you were for command, and they thought that pointless slaughter was a miracle.

[chosenfordarkness]

Because the Jedi were never trained on how to be in command, it was just given and expected.

I wasn't even knighted before they gave over command like I knew what to do. Expecting Padawan learners to take command was never something they should have allowed. Especially the ones that were so much younger than I was.

[ His own Padawan who'd just gotten thrown into the fray..Anakin still has such negative feelings about how the Jedi Order treated her. All this conversation is proving is that he should have left. ]

[sergeant_slick]

Doesn't sound like it was ever questioned either.

[That's what's still driving him insane about this. Even though Skywalker seems to almost get it, he's still ducking responsibility. The 501st got put through hell, just like the 212th. And this guy was complaining about the responsibility of it.]

Did you never ask why none of us can ever outrank you? Even your cadets? [Because he definitely fucking did. And he has the suspicion now that if he actually got to ask one of their Masters like Kenobi, he'd get the same infuriating runaround of self-pity.]

[chosenfordarkness]

Honestly? No.

This is just making it more apparent that I should have been asking more questions.

[ He knows that a big part of why he hadn't was because of that driving need to prove himself. To show everyone that he was meant for something more. As stupid as something like a prophecy is, it's always been hard not to lean into the idea. Even if he wasn't some Chosen One, he was meant for something bigger. Being a General was just a means to an end, right? ]

[sergeant_slick]

And you're just proving me right.

[It's satisfying to be right, but only in the worst way. It's the satisfaction of being right about how wrong everything is.]

The whole thing's rotten. Top to bottom. You have to see that.